tomb stone

finals is just around the corner, the gang went to edmund's house for group study. everyone seems relax, and not that stress at all (i think) compare during mock presentations and trial assessments. and i was told (cuz i was late) that most them cried, because jeffrey showed them some emo video clip. the usual 'suspect' i know they would cry. but i didn't know some of them could be that sensitive. anyway, it's nothing wrong to cry (even for a guy), to me, it's just a form of expressing your own feeling.

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it was bout 5 something, and we decided to take a break. loads of info has gone in, (me... i don't think much have gone in). so we drove out to have a 'tea break' and dinner for some. one of them mentioned bout ordering wrong food. and it suddenly struck me of a conversation i had with fren couple of weeks ago.

we were talking bout tombstones, and what we gonna engrave on it after we died. so, i was thinking, and had an idea, cuz i'm was doing some field experiment bout tombstones n bible quotes couple of weeks b4 we had the conversation. so, i told my fren, 'die no eye see' (translate to canto, i think u'l know). yaya.. it's lame... it was a sudden thought, cuz i saw most of the tombstones have pictures on it, and everyone was... as if staring back at me. so, yea... that's where the 'inspiration' came from.

anyway, steph told me... y don't put 'mee goreng soup'. i was shocked, and later on i just smile. it was so long ago. and i almost forget bout it. and i ask her y should i engrave those 3 words.
and she go on by saying that, i was simple when she first met me. and it will be simple and elegant as it own class, and it's just 'kevinish'. if i engrave on it. just a word 'simple'... i don't know how to explain. but, yea.. in a way, it reminded me how simple and naive i was. seriously. k... i shouldn't use naive, but... okay.. i have 1; ignorance to the outside world.

i always wanted to have a simple and comfortable life, where i don't have to work hard like a dog, get promoted, probably become a CEO of a certain company, and that's it. the only satisfaction you get from it, is the achievement that you have reach the top. to me, i believe that there's something more in life than work. i wouldn't want to work till i die. but on the other hand, i know that money is something essential for survival, and to feed my family (if i ever have one). thus,
over a period of time, i have swayed my priorities to money. i work, work and work, even though i miss class, money is to come 1st.

in the end, what do i get out of it? nothing really. i used to earn quite a fair amount of money, but i could easily spend all of it at one go. so, if you think bout it... i've haven't achieve anything. at least, not the things that i wanted to. if you think that, 'yea, tis fella, sure want fancy cars, big house, bla bla...'. honestly, who doesn't right. if i have the chance to gain all these things, why not? but my point is, i believe there's more to life than working your ass off for something that it doesn't yield the returns that it should.

my main point is, (according to steph), i used to be a very simple person. i THINK i still am. but... not as simple as last time. not as simple as i would like to be. i know i have a choice. but sometimes we have to alter our choices to suite the trend? comformity perhaps? i don't know.
i always think that humans are simple yet extraordinary but people are the ones who complicate things. in other words, we could say that people tend to comform to society needs and how we have to project ourselves in the eyes of the person standing next to you.

as i was saying, simple is who i am, or rather who i was. and probably would want people to remember that i'm a simple person who could do extraordinary things. i'm still trying to search for my old self. and hopefully by the time i'm done finding, i'm the better old self of me. much much better. mee goreng soup = simple = kevinish


question is, what would you want to engrave on your tombstone?