Sunday, June 21, 2009

all in one

closing the door as i walked passed it. confinement time as it best.

i learned bout myself through events of the past one week more than anything else combine for the last 5-10 years of my life. good? seems great. acknowledging it is one thing, putting it into action and empowering it is another. procrastination is still very much alive and kicking in my blood streams. so.. we'll see.

i think i did a pretty good stuff will my title head of the blog. nothing fancy, just simple. no? anyway, i like it.

talking bout simplicity. remember i've mention that i prefer a simple life in my past post? doesn't matter. i need the reminder. a friend once said, 'wow... u have/ will lead a simple life.' in my mind, don't you? why complicated things when it's just so simple. having said that, sometimes things aren't that simple as it seem. we would like to believe that, don't we?

too many questions.. my apology. not really a good way to end a great weekend (if you're having one, ehh).

by the way, happy father's day. i called my dad after i reach office, to wish him. 'i love you' is something i didn't manage to blurt out. although, in my mind i was weighing the chances. this is what you get in asian context. is so hard to say those three words. intimacy and affection is something many do not grasp yet in this culture. ironically, we can say those magical words to our girlfriend/ boyfriend (or is it just me). funny... but it's interesting stuff to look into.

Monday, June 15, 2009

surprise #3 of the month

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

BERNARD SAW




you're still a blurr case as always...

Saturday, June 13, 2009

air for thought

we spend most of the time searching what we want in life
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problem is... NOT because we search the wrong places.
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problem is... we don't know what we want.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

drinks for thought #1

had a conversation with a friend.

her comment; scare of aging, because got a lot of things to do, and have not experience.

well...my question is, do we really need to experience all things in life?

it's good to experience as many things as we could, to do the things that we want, and die without regrets. however, there are too many things to do, that sometimes it's not enough for one life time to experience everything. and sometimes we are too engross with things, that we forget where we came from, because chasing external tangible outcomes. so what if we have done everything there is to do? to tell a great tale? hmm...

what if one life time is not enough?

i didn't know we could continue to serve God after we 'check-in'. Buddhist belief there's karma and afterlife; second chance. not so for other religions. that was an eye opener. thank you. i'm not saying who is right or wrong. after all, we choose what we want to believe.

i'm not a big fan of God. nonetheless, i do believe there's a higher being above us all. and things do happen for a reason. every damn thing. you could term it as cause and effect. some may not agree, they would say it is God's will. i may want to disagree on it a lil. hear me out for a sec?

IF is God's will... would God wanna put you in pain? maybe/maybe not. but if you think intellectually for a moment; nothing will happen if you don't drop a penny into the pond. ripples won't cause sand to move at the end of the pond. it's actually the results of what we previously thought of that causes the joy, pain and whateva experience we are/were going thru. some might just ask, 'but where got ppl wanna suffer pain?'. have you wonder why do you enjoy pleasure then. we live in the world of duality. yes and no, good and bad, positive and negative, pain and pleasure. hence, if we could enjoy, we could pretty much suffer as well. make sense? 'but this is not fair...' now your blamming God for being unfair? such irony... but it's the truth.

coming back to the question, 'why do people wana suffer pain?' there's a saying, people grow when they go through pain, i think it's just as much is true when we enjoy pleasure. the only difference, pain causes us to dig deep into our souls and minds (conscious and unconscious) to search for answers. how many of us when we are in deep shit, or has a favor to ask, we always pray hard? how many of us would pray for our love ones to be safe, or wish them well? almost all of us. funny thing is, we never pray to get more hardship, make our life miserable, and full of shit, so that we can grow. interesting huh...

very few of us probably will say a prayer saying; if this is what i need to go through, so be it, i'll just embrace it. (it's easier said than done, really).

coming back again... if u notice, when things don't go our way, we tend to get irritated, blaming the whole world that things is not working in our favor (it all happen to many of us). point is, when we say 'why is all this bad stuff happening to me?' guess what, you'll be on a roll of experiencing a series of bad stuff. don't believe? try it.. and let me know, alrite? =)

as they say... there's always 2 sides of a coin. look at the brighter side. these philosophies has been pass down generations after generations. it's always a choice how we look at things, and how we handle it from there. something interesting i found out, we humans like to sulk and take in the moment of despair and pain. is as if it's our comfort zone. and now you're wondering why chose to suffer in pain instead of enjoying the moment /incident that happened to me.

wrapping up, i mentioned that i'm not a big fan of 'His Honor'. why? i'm not sure though, maybe it's not the time yet, or God is too big of a word for me to understand and digest. too big that it'll take me no time and space could be measure to absorb all of His teachings.



p/s: this post is purely my opinion, and it has no intention of offending any parties that might feel offended.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

ethics is boring... cross cultural is boring... psychology is also boring.

nth seems to interested me anymore. whyyy r?? i pick up a story book instead of cross cultural textbook, i rather watch dvd, than reading the codes. you tube streaming instead of searching for journals. so meaningless rite? i know.

3 years ago, i was like most of the people, eager to give back to the community.... wait. i think i've posted something similar to this.

die... nth seems to interest me ledi... how???

not even the thought of graduating and look for a job. how la??

i think i'm having a depression.

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oh oh... i think i find something positive in studying psych. the only thing i could think of is... we are able to know what's wrong with us or the people around us quicker and more accurate compare with humans that did not. sadly... even we found out what's wrong with us, we ALWAYS wouldn't accept the simple fact that there's something wrong with us.

denial mode

just like... we did something wrong, it's always harder to accept your wrong doings than saying 'i'm sorry'. ain't so?

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this is getting way to skew off topic.

i had a dream last night...
was attending an interview. we were pick up in a MPV (yup, there were a few other candidates), was drove around the block while the interviewer ask some questions. can't remember what were the questions thou. anyway, the last i remember, i was sitting in a room, facing the boss. (assuming i pass the first round). the employer looks like Dr. Goh (omg! i heard employee's benefit very bad, and the uni damn kiamsiap). anyway, cut the long story short. i got the job, (clap clap) but as i leave the room, he came over and put his arm around... (what are u thinking u bastards) my shoulder, and say 'what do you what to acheive in the next 5 years?' i stone. 'more importantly, what do you want to acheive in your life?' soh gao jor...

coincidently, was having a conversation with my friend, she ask something similar to the question i had in mind... i also dont' know how to answer.

what is this.... it's really frustrating to not knowing what interest or at least have something particular in mind.

seriously, need to introspec ledi (Phun, 09).

k la.. off the bed.

good luck in your remaining papers peeps



HAPPY B'DAY AILI NG.

I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU...



FOR PUSHING ME INTO SELAT MELAKA