Sunday, September 28, 2008

Q&A

Question:


is it difficult to be assertive in most situations? what do you believe people are going to think of you when you act assertively for your own benefit?

Answer:


Being assertive is definitely going to be hard in most situations. And when we act assertively for own benefit, perception of people will always think otherwise, even though the objective could be entirely good from our part. i guess the first three letter of the word assertive says it all, not being entirely positive, and yet it manage to get the job done most of the time




will i get expel for this??


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

guidance

i stumble upon a post, and it reminds me of the past. sometimes i wonder and at times seems worrying? i don't know. why should i give a damn...

writing chapter XXX on a fresh piece of paper wasn't easy. as i don't know where to start. everything seems blurry even though it's just a blank piece of paper waiting for me to write something on it. at times the reflection of paper seems like a bright light persistently sucking me into it.

things happened so fast... i think i'm still lagging behind in lap 2, whereas everyone is moving forward and bout to finish the race. i hate to be on the losing side, anyway, who does...? but that's life, and i admit defeat.

i do not dare to fall, as i have not learn how to accept myself. as i have, i'm not prepare to get hurt... yet. or maybe this will turn out just fine. who knows? no one... even god.

i'm in the midst of crossroads. so many doors that are equally tempting for me to explore. i don't know which to take. emotionally, i'm just a total mess up. and it's affecting my thoughts. seriously.

i do believe in god. and if there's really one out there. please guide me through this horrendous process, i don't wish to suffer, as i know life is not bout suffering. i just need a breakthrough. to really discover who am i... what i'm capable of... for a start.

just what are you testing me for what i'm going through at this very moment.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

cutest mom contest entry

mom: is that the who who who??

me: er.. who?

mom: *typical mom stare*

me: orh.. no la!! what makes you think so?!

mom: i thought...

me: cannot be, and it won't be. why ask?

mom: just concern bout you. fulfilling the mom's responsibility. can o not?

me: caaann... your so sweet.

mom: of cuz!!

me: since i'm single, can we just become couple.

mom: caaann... if i'm not married to your dad.

me: *doink* dad....!!!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

equation

why.. why sometimes in life, when we want something so badly, and we never seems to get what we want. why we desperately need something, we just don't get it, even we wish upon the wishing stars. worst of all, we don't get it, even we work hard for it, and it just doesn't waltz through the grand hall way.

i understand that certain things will not drop on our lap, even though we pray to Santa every night before heading to bed. but wanting something badly PLUS working hard for it, EQUALS to you don't get what you want. the equation just sucks bad time.

on a random note, had a conversation with my mom.

'boy, why are the guys carrying the gals handbag?'

'cuz they are gentleman..?'

'no no no... you call that gentleman?'

'if not? i think the couple is showing affection'

'affection?? ya rite? more like possession.

=.='''

sometimes my mom just...

Saturday, September 13, 2008

NS!!! damn 7 slow. .!!

i'm in a CC near my house. stupid connection at home couldn't be access. TMD!! it's been 2 days! i think mom didnt' pay the bill. either way, i'll check it out tmr!

everytime the connection also got problem when i got urgent matter to do. for your info, i have not print my exam docket for malaysian studies paper. thought i could get it from registry today, but the admin staff told me to check my mail again. damn!! can't she just freaking print the exam docket for me?!?! so damn 7 ma fan meh?!

i've been waiting 20 mins for the freaking file to be download aili send to me. mind you, it's just 23KB. and it is taking forever to download into the freaking computer. 'what 7' kinda CC is this?!?! is sl0wer, much slower than dial-up connection.

realize i curse alot?! i think i got affected by a bunch of kids behind me Dota-ing. they curse like nobody business. so hence the tendency to curse as well. plus the frustration that is occurring. grrr....

fark!! 30 mins ledi, and it's not f***ing moving!! WTH!! i doubt this entry will be uploaded into my blog. if it does, good la. if not, i think i'll go crazy.

it's 1.45a.m. i want to sleep!! and i'm still waitin for the god damn file to be downloaded.

tat's it, i'm going back. nitez peeps.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

sometimes in life, especially the people around us, the people that we care most. often enough don't listen to you when you have something to say, or opinions that it's in your head. and often enough, you'll see them banging their head onto the god damn wall over and over again, even though you just ask them to lift their head, and go round the stupid wall.

you could nag till the cows come home from lala land. you could give the most influential speech that even Martin Luther King claps his hands. but none of the words will go into that thick skull of theirs. WHY?!?!

i'm sure you know why.

we've all done it in numerous occasions. friends giving advise, ignore. parents teaching lessons bout life, blah.

is it really that hard... just to listen? interpret, and rationalize just that wee bit. i guess it depends on the other party willing to listen to YOU. you may be their best-est friend ever, but if they chose not to listen. like i said, can't even convince that person with Luther King's speech.

ironically, if that person chose to listen at the very beginning, even whateva their great grandfather's cousin brother's wife's nephew's daughter's step sister's maid said, they will; 'ya hor, why didn't i think of that'. padahal the things you or the maid said is EXACTLY the same!

moral of this post; we listen to what we wanna hear.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

rantings

friends around me have started working, some are in multi-national companies, some are doing their own business, some are starting to build their own family. and i... i'm still studying, living day by day with the money i earn by myself, commiting part and parcel of the money to different aspects of my life.

i really want to live better, have a better quality of life. but sometimes, we can't choose where we come from. different background, different status, different condition...all these differences makes the journey of one's walking, compare to the person next to you a whole of difference. no matter how hard we work, we'll just suck back into the hole where we struggle to climb up.

why do i need to sacrifice my time in work, instead of putting effort in my studies. solely focusing on it, graduate, and i'm off to the working world, where i could just be like my friends who are doing it right NOW. i hate to be in this situation, balancing between studies and work is so blardy tiring. others can work for fun, earn extra pocket money to buy the things they want, to go to places they desire, to eat food they crave for. and yet, i need to stand and smile to strangers, from morning to night, selling whateva products and promotions.




above context is what a colleague of mine rant bout, and somehow, i feel that we have so much in common.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

got up pretty 'early' today. officially it's the first day of class today. haven't even get my engine warmed up. well, was suppose to pick up some stuff in the morning, but end up, not doing it, and postponing till tmr.

anyway, went to take my phone to fix in MV, got a feeling it will cost a bomb. -.- since it's not warranted for dropping it into sea water. should have told the dealer i drop it or something, and it can't work after the first kaboom.

attended my first class of the semester. and i was late. =/ what a good start to this sem rite. wateva. health psych seems ok. for now. there's one group assignment, that will randomly be assign by the tutor. means, you'll work with whoever members you are group. die. worst... i only know a handful of people there. (this is what happen for not mixing around enough) hopefully i can get into a group with nice people to work with.

by the way, year 3 is way harder than i expected. the lecturers really push you to think beyond what is expected of you. to make matter...not so good. our psych department is one of the best in south east asia. so to speak, and so they claim.

after class, rush all the way to kepong for a job briefing. was caught in a jam. no fun. took me 1 and half hours to get there. while on the way, some car bumped into mine. apparently, the driver doze off or something. and i ripped 50 bucks off him. suppose to be more than that, he claims 'bo lui'. which i don't quite believe la. anyway, got his call card, will ripped more from him, when i'm short in cash. hohoho...

anyway, the trainer was late for 2 freaking hours. damn! and i tot i was late. grab something to eat after the briefing at steven's corner. when i'm bout to finish my food, they were showing Love Guru. and i sat there watching it. i can't believe i sat there and watched the whole show with noise and air pollution. most of the time, i was reading the sub-titles instead of listening to what they have to say. anyway, it wasn't as good as i thought it will be. jessica alba was hot. justin timberlake's acting.. so so only la. (my suggestion, just buy DVD or download only la).

wow... wat a wordy post. thank you for reading till this very end. =)

have a nice day