would you be my valentine

the time has arrived, where love is in the air. just this particular day that the world is fill will love. just this day that lovers decide to do something special for their love ones. candies, chocolates, flowers, diamond rings, wallet, posh restaurants. and for those with a tight budget; poets and love letters, or maybe a dinner cooked by their love ones. people will just do anything to please and melt their partner's heart.

personally, i think is quite a dumb thing to do, of all days, u choose this very day. reason; everyone is doing it. and what the heck, we comform to it as well. if u treat ur partner a lil better on other days, they will think something is wrong. most of the time we'l ask 'did you cheat on me?' 'is that something wrong u did?'

these things are pretty easy to accomplish. and is easier done and said too.

but what is hard to do is, how you express your love towards partner. that's quite a mission impposible. at least in our asian context. am i generalizing again. probably so. but if we pay attention a lil, i think we are. asians are usually more introvert, more ego, more timid when it comes to expressing. but once u got the gal/guy... whoa.. it will be a whole different story. but i guess is pretty much the same everywhere else.

my point is; it takes a great amount of courage and effort to express how you feel for that very person you love. is like stucking out your head on a guillotine, waiting to be chopped off anytime. kkk, i'm a bit off the board. but still, the feeling is quite similar to it. both for guys and gals. when letting someone know how much you care, and love them is like taking out a diamond as big as ur fist out of your throat.

we will be planning and planning, thinking and thinking, write and rewrite our speech, as to when, what and how to be presented the best way possible. and hopefully not being turn down by the other person. the process is egonising, and yet is fullfilling if we get what we want. if is a negative response, we just head home and cry lor... easier being said than done. =) but it's the fact.

for some strange reason, i think i never said those 3 words to my dad before and tell him how much i cared. my mom, yes. probably once? if you ask me why?! i can't really give you an answer. i've been brought up where we don't talk bout literally anything on the dining table, or in the house. and most of the time, we tend to handle our own issues. but sometimes is hard to handle issues that involved yourself alone. is just too much to bear. i guess there's an assumption from our parents, the problem ain't big enough or serious enough to go to them, and you can handle it yourself. so is not a problem at all. if you look it from another point of view, parents are so smart that they want you to bang yourself on the wall and open endless of dead end doors until you couldn't take it anymore, they will somehow appear in your life when you are on the verge of hanging yourself.. i don't know how they know it... but somehow they just know.

aiks, it suppose to be valentine. too bad, it's not a lovy dovy post, that try to melt your heart.

anyway, i *heart* those who *heart* me, for those who don't; i *heart* you too.

happy valentine peeps!