neither here nor there

opportunities have been popping up here and there. at times, it seems good. other times, it leaves you too much options, you don't know which to pick. they say; go with your heart. whenever i trust it... things turn out not the way i expected. it's funny when we always think that the grass is always greener the other side of the fence. i've been asking alot of questions lately, i think i irritate those people around me. i don't want to make a mistake that i couldn't afford to. i wouldn't say i made alot of mistakes, but the mistakes that i have made, it's sufficient to last me a couple of years. some of those mistakes i realize, i still repeat. afterall, i'm still human. some say, especially the teachers, would usually say; "don't make the same mistakes again". i can tell you it is very hard to succeed. not to say you can't, but it's just very hard. i've been making so many mistakes, sometime a wise decision could just turn into some shitty ones. "it's okay to make mistakes. learn from it, and don't make the same ones" easier said that done. we tend to fall back to the same thing over and over again. old habit dies hard. the desire it's just not strong enough. "go with the flow", is a common thing we all hear. sometimes... in fact, most of the time, going with the flow will lead you to some place you never thought of ended up with. then we will console ourselves; "this is gods will, He wants to test us". how ironic. at least, this is the humor side of it. 'positive thinking'... so to speak. on the other hand, strong minded person knows where they want to go. determine as ever, heaps of confidence, crystal clear in their mind that they will never settle for anything less than what they have set for. we have heard stories about these extraordinary humans defying all odds to achieve what they have set. these people tells stories that move souls and lift spirits. and we all want to be part of it. fact is, how many of us are as determine as these inhuman. sometimes i think these are angels that have been sent down from heavens to inspire. give us hope. as hope feeds the soul to make one body vessel to take one more step forward. to acknowledge there is still light at the end of the tunnel. before we step into that frame of mind, we need to know what we can/ can't do. what is within the capabilities. "we can do anything", one guy shouted at the back of the room. "i'm just being realistic, boy." there are so many things we can do in this world, that every single person experience different things in their life time, and life times before this, and life times ahead of this. a wise person once said, "our body are just a tool that caters to the soul, as the soul carries a series of life time experiences". i think there is some truth it in. why do we do things that we can't understand, and consciously, we know we shouldn't be doing it. interesting. choices; i think it's a good thing to an extend, i have choices to go with. it's a situation where gives me liberty to make a decision that may very well shape my life. i'm not going to go with the flow, neither i'm determine to sculpt my life....

i just got my answer =)