i begin to doubt that part. things doesn't seem to work it's way to the designated point that i desire. they say, 'everything happens for a reason'. and there are obstacles that challenges us before we are strong enough to claim the ultimate prize. what if you are not up to task? means; no finish line? i don't know, it's hard to predict the future. even it is pre-planned, sometimes or rather most of the time... things just don't work out just like you wanted. it deviates to a path that could is totally a different experience. things could be better or worst than the original goal. why does this happen then? why do we need to plan ahead if things seems unclear and misty.
i see some humans, they just live one day at a time. and they seems so much happier. could this happen to me as well? things that i longed for, doesn't match the current state i am in. it's contradicting. when things contradict, it makes a person confuse. ultimately, depress.
what if things are just unachievable? the saying goes; 'everything that is imagine of, will be a reality'. some say that 'you always get the things that you wanted'. is that so? if i could get the things i desire, why am i not getting it? is the request too big for even god to handle? i don't think that's the problem. but what is? timing? effort? knowledge? skills? talent? wisdom? ignorance? stupidity?
i'm rationalizing my way out. and it doesn't seems to be working. the thoughts are... just like the title suggested.