neither here nor there

opportunities have been popping up here and there. at times, it seems good. other times, it leaves you too much options, you don't know which to pick. they say; go with your heart. whenever i trust it... things turn out not the way i expected. it's funny when we always think that the grass is always greener the other side of the fence. i've been asking alot of questions lately, i think i irritate those people around me. i don't want to make a mistake that i couldn't afford to. i wouldn't say i made alot of mistakes, but the mistakes that i have made, it's sufficient to last me a couple of years. some of those mistakes i realize, i still repeat. afterall, i'm still human. some say, especially the teachers, would usually say; "don't make the same mistakes again". i can tell you it is very hard to succeed. not to say you can't, but it's just very hard. i've been making so many mistakes, sometime a wise decision could just turn into some shitty ones. "it's okay to make mistakes. learn from it, and don't make the same ones" easier said that done. we tend to fall back to the same thing over and over again. old habit dies hard. the desire it's just not strong enough. "go with the flow", is a common thing we all hear. sometimes... in fact, most of the time, going with the flow will lead you to some place you never thought of ended up with. then we will console ourselves; "this is gods will, He wants to test us". how ironic. at least, this is the humor side of it. 'positive thinking'... so to speak. on the other hand, strong minded person knows where they want to go. determine as ever, heaps of confidence, crystal clear in their mind that they will never settle for anything less than what they have set for. we have heard stories about these extraordinary humans defying all odds to achieve what they have set. these people tells stories that move souls and lift spirits. and we all want to be part of it. fact is, how many of us are as determine as these inhuman. sometimes i think these are angels that have been sent down from heavens to inspire. give us hope. as hope feeds the soul to make one body vessel to take one more step forward. to acknowledge there is still light at the end of the tunnel. before we step into that frame of mind, we need to know what we can/ can't do. what is within the capabilities. "we can do anything", one guy shouted at the back of the room. "i'm just being realistic, boy." there are so many things we can do in this world, that every single person experience different things in their life time, and life times before this, and life times ahead of this. a wise person once said, "our body are just a tool that caters to the soul, as the soul carries a series of life time experiences". i think there is some truth it in. why do we do things that we can't understand, and consciously, we know we shouldn't be doing it. interesting. choices; i think it's a good thing to an extend, i have choices to go with. it's a situation where gives me liberty to make a decision that may very well shape my life. i'm not going to go with the flow, neither i'm determine to sculpt my life....

i just got my answer =)

back to msn

time flies when we are together, and crawls when we are apart.

i love spending time with you.

combo day

First of all, a big shout out to those celebrating Lunar New Year. Hope the 'harvest' is just as good as last year if not better. Those in business, be there more revenue, and profit. Those working, may promotion and increment pave the way to harmonious life. And wish everyone excellent health, great prosperity, and abundance of love.

speaking of love, i heard this is the only clashing between western calender of valentine, and eastern calender of chinese celebration in this millennium. don't you think it's quite cool.

i think we are a bunch of lucky fellas. able to witness some amazing things in our life time. the turn of the millennium, booming of computers, internet, tragic disaster like tsunami, eclipse that appears once every thousands of years, and... maybe you could chip in some.

anyway, talking bout love. hmm... a topic that melts a person's heart if written melodically, weakens the knees if words pierce through the skin, and shakes the soul when express sincerely.

so far, it's been a good period for both of us. the normal stuff that we any other couple that you bump in the street. just that, i think we gone through slightly more during this short period of time than any other couples. well, at least more than what i've been through.

i think i've been rather lucky to be involve in this one. i must say, it didn't expect to start out like how the cliche stories lines we see in movies. and it certainly didn't go well after a rocky start. many think it's bad fung shui, karma, or whatever they could come up with. the way i see it... i think it's working pretty well, and i learn an awful lot bout being in a relationship that i never even know.

starting one it's easy, maintaining one... it definitely involves hard work. sometimes we are kinda naive, as to think that relationship should be all lovey dovey. of course we could, and we must have. however, if we look at a different angle; running your own life is tough work, what else can you say if you put two souls together. ain't it be more tough?

aiks.. it's valentine, and new year. why am i getting all emotional and wordy. apologize for straying off a little.

have a great week ahead everyone,...

Happy New Year, and Happy Valentine's day. may everyone receives abundance of joy, abundance of wealth, and great health.

pushing the wrong buttons

as of late, i think i pissed off many people

i don't know what did i do actually in that spur moment. however, i will regret for the actions that i have take. words piercing through the heart, it's hard to just put a band aid or two across the wound just like that. scars will always remain.

just this morning, while driving to work. the usual.. jam all the way to work place. there's this car who wanted to cut to my lane, i couldn't break in time, and my car was in front of him. yet, he still insist of cutting to my lane, our rear mirror brush together, and i honk him along the way for his persistent. the next time i know, he bang his window so hard, i could hear it even my windows are close. his eyes ranging from anger, literally almost popping out. i swear he would run me down if he was driving a tank or lorry. serious.

maybe my action has cost him to go blow his top, after stressful times in the morning.

it's not entirely my fault lo. reasons:

1) he did not put his indicator. thinks that his grandfather road

2) it's my lane, in theory... and i got a choice to let him pass or not

3) i want to eliminate road bully. i was prepare to fight if he stops in front of my car. (cuz we almost the same size) lol

4) i want to get into youtube, just like the video taken in LDP. heee

having said that, from now onwards, i try to be nice~ full stop. i still got 75 years to live.

3 must

attended a talk yesterday, with the mom. it was quite an insight. i like to attend this speaker's talk, it's always light hearted, and.. as i said, insightful.

the speaker mentioned quite a few things that caught my attention, and made me reflect certain things that has and going to happen to me. and today, i'm just gonna talk bout 1 of the points that i could remember.

humans need to have 3 mus, otherwise we will die. some may have studied this in psychology. and in my faint memories, i think one of the lecturers in bpsych must have talked bout it. anyway, 3 must.

1st must. we must do something.

imagine, if we just sit down and staring at the milky way, or lie on bed all day doing nothing...everyday. we are no different than the body buried six feet under. hence, we need to find something to do. anything, at least it's something.

2nd must. we must do something we love.

doing something we enjoy/love is something... one can't explain to the next person that do not get what you're doing. to a destroyer of the environment, they could never get what the humanitarian effort in saving the planet they love. or something like that.

3rd must. we must have something we hope for.

this is kinda subjective. why? humans strive on things that bring them hope. a glimmer of hope would push beyond a human's capacity that they never could imagine. you could say, hope is what keeps us alive. whereas, hope is something that could ruined our life too, literally. as one hope that his/her children to get rid of an addiction. sometimes, it's just kinda hard. rationalization could immediately take place. but that is a whole new dimension that one should consider.

these are the 3 must one must have. if not, one may die. come to think of it. it does make a whole lot of sense. if you find something to LOVE to DO, and putting HOPE into it. as many that have found their passion, they claim that they never work a single day of their lives. all because they enjoy doing what they love, and hope it will blossom to something more.

-the end-